


Banished to alien boyfriend jail

by Ourfandomcrazyuniverse, Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Collaborative Work, F/M, Fluff, Semi-infected Paul, Tags to be added, its just shitposting & humour mostly I think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse/pseuds/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: With the apotheosis gone, the infection is not nearly as dangerous as it used to be. The real danger now is how much money Emma is going to have to spend on cleaning supplies when her half-alien boyfriend keeps getting blue shit all over the place.A collaborative piece based off semi-infected Paul ideas we were bouncing around and decided to write.
Relationships: Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	1. Go clean up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which as cute as Paul is, the blue shit is the bane of Emma's life when it comes to laundry

“Babe, you’re doing it again,” Emma put her phone down in her lap. 

“Doing what?” Paul asked, his cheeks turning blue with embarrassment to be called out. Sometimes he just liked to sit and watch her. 

“You’re like,” Emma gestured to her mouth, “drooling.”

“I’m not-!” He wiped a hand over his lips, shaking the blue spittle off his hands. He couldn’t help himself. “I’m sorry, it’s so gross. Sometimes it just happens.”

Emma let out an amused giggle. “Yeah, because me in my tracksuits is super drool-able content. Thanks for the ego booster, bud.” 

“I just- you’re really pretty, Emma. All the time.” 

“Watch yourself, Paul,” she chuckled, turning back to her phone with a small gesture to her chin. 

“Ah shit.” He wiped his mouth off on his sleeve before holding his jaw to its crook to try and stop it. 

Half her face tugged up in a smile, revealing her teeth. “It’s kinda cute, how your face goes all blue? I mean, how can you even hide it?” 

“I can’t hide it! And you’re making it worse!” He could feel it coming out through his teeth, pooling in his mouth. He could barely speak. 

She shifted onto his side of the bed, pressing her forehead to his chest as she wrapped her arms around his back, laughing into his shirt. 

“Emma! Stop, you’re making it worse!” He warned, turning his head to the side so he didn’t end up getting it on her. “You’re doing this on purpose.” His words were getting harder to understand and he had to tip his head back. 

She ducked up, planting a kiss on his cheek just to tease him, and that was his breaking point. He laughed and it came out, spilling down his neck and over his white shirt, but all over Emma too. 

“Oh my god.”

“I’m sorry,” he swallowed, drying his face. “I tried to warn you.” 

“This is gross, babe,” she slid off the bed. “Go take a shower, Paul.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Emma!”

“Do you know how much money we spend on laundry shit now?” She picked up a shirt from her drawer. “Shower, Paul!” She pointed at the ensuite as she hurried to the laundry. 

“Emma!” 

“No, Paul!” She chuckled, walking faster as he opened up his arms. 

“I’m sorry!” He tried, arms outstretched to give her a hug. 

She batted his hands away with a squeal. “Don’t even think about it!” 

He called out her name again, an apology on his lips as he followed after her. 

“No. You get cleaned up. I’ve got to go put this in the wash!” She hurried out, trying not to let it drip onto her legs. 

Paul pulled his pyjama shirt off, dumping it into the laundry hamper to burrow into a new shirt. He wiped down his face, why did he keep doing that? It happened sometimes and he could never stop it. He grabbed a towel from the ensuite to clean up his face. 

“You better be in the damn shower, babe,” Emma called from the bedroom, Paul peered his head out through the door. 

She was pulling a new shirt over her head.  
And the dribbling started again. 

“Ah, Jesus Paul, you just never stop do you?” she smirked, pulling her head through the collar and coming over to give him a quick kiss. “Just go take a shower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first collab so I'm not too sure if it's working right but uuu we stan semi-infected Paul so!
> 
> -Zoya


	2. A Normal Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul just wants to kiss his girlfriend. Emma knows with a half-infected boyfriend who has a problem keeping his blue shit down, it’s not always so simple

“Emmaaaaa?”

“Yeahhhh?”

“Kiiiiiiss?”

“Not now Paul.” Emma finally bended her laptop screen down to look at him over it, from where he stood in the doorway as she lay in bed. “I’ve finally gotten into the zone to finish this paper. Can it wait?”

Pauls shoulders drooped just a little, his eyes got a little less sparkly, his smile a little smaller. “Okayyyyy.” He eventually gave out, not wanting to push it and Emma nodded, her eyes going back to her screen as she told him “Thank youuuu.” Going back to that speech pattern.

Paul looked like he was about to leave the room, when he spun too perfectly on his feet and faced her once more. “Can I at least sit with you and watch?” He asked.

She didn’t like letting his cute fuckin ass down, but she sighed and looked to her word count and immediately felt a headache coming on. “Aw Paul man, I’ve really gotta concentrate.” She told him, her hand going to her forehead as she removed her blanket to settle her laptop more professionally in her lap. 

And like Paul automatically knew what she was going through, he smiled once again, happy to help her. “Okay. I’ll make you a coffee then! I’ll find something to do while you work.”

Emma smiled up to him thankfully from her bed, cracking her knuckles to get ready for big brain time. “Thanks babe. You’re the best.” She sighed contentedly as she watched him leave, then she finally got busy.

After the meteor was destroyed the blue shit wasn’t nearly as infectious. Like at all. Maybe he could infect her if he truly wanted it enough, and dug it up from deep enough inside his stomach lining, but he’d promised not to try that shit and she trusted him, not to mention the amount of times she would have been infected by now if it was truly as bad as when the apotheosis first began to spread... So kissing him was alright and not going to infect her. That wasn’t exactly the problem.

“Emma, can we have a kiss now?” Paul asked as Emma walked downstairs, but his heart dropped as he saw her hair was wet. He knew what this meant. 

Emma groaned, for the both of them. “Aw Paul I’ve just gotten out of the bath!”

Paul knew why it had to happen like this, and he understood once she’d explained to him at the start. But now she sat next to him her hair smelt so nice, like blueberries, and he just wanted to..! He put his face into her neck with a whine, curling up closer to her lap so their legs were beginning to become entwined. He was snuggling his face in the crook of her neck to breathe. 

Even when Emma laughed that he was tickling her she hadn’t asked him to stop, so he didn’t. He needed Emma right now. And sensing that, she took his hands from where they shook in his lap and held them in her hands, in her lap, as they watched tv together. Well, Paul listened. His eyes were closed peacefully and pressed into Emma’s collarbone.

He begged all day, and she would have let him have a few quick ones, she would! She wasn’t heartless after all, and she knew he liked his assurances and comforts. But things could get... messy. Kisses could take some time out of her day. Or the aftermath of them could, at least.

It was the afternoon now. Emma had come back from work only a half hour ago, and they hugged for a while before she went off to be busy. Paul walked into the bedroom where Emma was tidying her bedside drawers.

“Emma?” He piped up. She turned around and flashed him a smile before going back to the desk. “Yeah Paul?”

“I did the dishes just now, so you don’t have to worry about them.” He bounced on his feet and smiled sweetly, hoping that would be helpful to her considering she had to do her big essay today too. Emma just dropped what she was doing and turned around, surprised. “But Paul, the dishes were my job.” 

“I know but-“

“You didn’t do it just because I haven’t given you your kiss yet, right?” Emma interrupted as she started walking towards him. Paul’s ears tinted blue at the word ‘yet’, like last she was planning on doing it later today! He shook his head, and only shook it more as Emma walked up until she was dead underneath him, looking up at him with those really, really, pretty big brown eyes. “N-No.” He told her, holding his hand out and asking for hers, and she gave it to him. “Just wanted to help you.”

Emma looked up at his adorable fuckin face, smiled, grabbed his tie and pulled him down for a quick peck, backing up just the second after their lips met. Sometimes it was better if she didn’t give warning and hype him up. “Thanks Pau-“ Her voice died off as she looked at him.

That peck had got him all excited. He was hiccuping happily, unable to stop and his eyes darting from Emma to his hand around his throat. Cracking his neck, in the way she hated, to see if that’d get them to stop.

Emma motioned between reaching out to him and taking a step back. “Paul? You okay? You calm?”

Paul hiccuped a last few times, then he took a big gulp and finally turned to Emma, smiling wide. “Yes.” 

Well, there was no blue stain on his teeth! And Emma cooed at that, stroking Paul’s cheek. “Hun, I’m proud.” She told him, the extra incentive to sweeten him up and calm him down, as Paul just melted into her palm. Holding it close and nuzzling into it. Then he snorted, giggling. 

Eventually, Emma was chilling out on the couch. She had nothing to do, would change into her more comfy clothes or even pjs soon and Paul stood above her. “Can you kiss me now?”

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Yes, okay Paul.” She stood up, took his cheeks between her hands, told him “C’mere,” and bent his head down. She took his bottom lip between hers, wanting this just as much as him. Paul covered her hand over his cheek fully with his own and rested his other on her neck, his thumb swiping her cheekbone as he finally got what he wanted.

Seconds later Emma started to feel a bit more wetness than was needed. But it wasn’t just Paul drooling, blue was positively pooling out of his mouth, and he made a coughing sort of noise while still connected to her. Emma pulled back then, watching it overflow and drip down his cheeks.

She brought the back of her hand to her mouth and wiped. There was some blue on her cheeks, on her lips, she caught it before it fell down her chin, but it was more like stains than actual liquid this round. Didn’t make it any less weird. “God, really? Can we not have one normal kiss?” She asked Paul, letting him go and groaning.

Paul wiped at the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, where a long stretch of drool was still going from his kiss. He wanted to continue kissing Emma but he understood he had this problem. “Hey.” He said, defensively, but also shrugging like it wasn’t his fault, or that big a deal, “At least I didn’t get it all in your mouth this time!”

Emma was, though, happy she didn’t have to suddenly close her throat and spit a whole mouthful out again. Or worse, accidentally swallow it. Not that it did anything bad, or was even particularly the worst thing she’d swallowed in her life, she’d tried some truly shit Beanies creations, but it wasn’t exactly something she’d ask for just cause. Although the kisses were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Also my first collab too! We joked abt this and a month later were like... hey actually kinda wanna write this. This is gonna just be a collection of half-infected Paul and Emma dealing with his blue shit chapters like zoya said so we hope you enjoy haha!
> 
> ~ Ourfandomcrazyuniverse 💕


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